Baby Sitter for Shaurya

Finally we hired a baby sitter for Shaurya yesterday. We were trying to get one for a long time specially after Manasi resumed work. She is supposed to be with him for more than 8 hours taking care of his feeding, playing with him and doing some minor household related work. Although, I got up at every small sound that Shaurya made, I got to sleep a little more today. May be with time as Shaurya gets more accustomed to the new person in house, I will also be more comfortable to leave him entirely with her. She did most of his feeding througout the day. It was wierd to feel a little jealous and a little bad for not taking care of him myself. I was doing that for more than 2 weeks and although at times it was little hard, i was enjoying it. To be with him all the time and make sure i feed him his quota of the entire day. Most of which Shaurya never used to eat in the first go. But still to feel proud that 'at the end of the day i have managed to feed him properly'. To make him sleep and then run around to get myself ready for office in limited time. I remember when one day he dragged himself all the way to the gallery crossing the entire hall to find me when i had left him alone sleeping to take a bath. He was crying and i felt so touched. It was good. For some reason i felt that connection to decrease in these 2 days. I hope his baby sitter is good and takes good care of him. Once she is taking care of him, I will be more relaxed towards Shaurya and i wish that does not affect his health. To be frank i am worried and for a moment today I felt like relieving her from the responsibility to make things as they were. But i know thats not logical and neither good for both of us. Lets have an assessment for some more days and hopefully everything would fall in place as it always does. On my part i will try to be more with Shaurya when she is taking care of him. Let's hope for the best...