Guilt

Today i am feeling the guilt for not being able to be with Shaurya. I reached home at 6 o'clock in the morning as usual. Shaurya had got up by then. I tried to make him sleep so that Manasi does not have to spend time with him which is used to prepare food for him, breakfast and lunch for myself , mom, dad and herself, to get ready for the office snd god knows what all other things. Shaurya didn't sleep for a long time and so i was also awake till 10 in the morning after which numerous people ranging from watchman to maids to governess tried to keep me awake. Finally i got to sleep at 11ish. As i was tired and exhausted and sleepy i slept till 5 in the evening and didn't see Shaurya at all during the day.

Later mom told me that he was crying a lot and proposed the theory that it was coz niether me nor Manasi were with him. It stung me. I was not with my son and because of which he cried whole day. didn't eat his meals properly. I don't know if he was cranky because of my absence or not but i feel it was my duty to be available for him. Whatever be the situation i think i can't escape the responsibility to take good care of him.

I had just about an hour left before leaving for office. Still i tried to spend about half an hour with him so that i could make up for the day lost. Guess it cannot by any measure be enough for what was lost. Guilty as i am will try not to repeat it again ever.